Put your oxygen mask on first!

In case of an emergency, put on your own oxygen mask before attempting to help your child or anyone else who may need your help. A very important safety instruction we hear before every flight, this simple instruction equally applies to our day to day lives. Makes perfect sense, but why is it so hard for us to follow such that we need to be kept reminded all the time?

Well, it's not easy. We all know this. Is it because of instinct? Is it because of certain beliefs we have? Is it because of our need to be appreciated? Is it because we are afraid of being called a selfish person? Is it pride?

When I was a kid. Mom taught me not to be selfish. This means that I have to give more than to receive. I have to share my things rather than keep everything to myself. This means that I should help others first before I help myself. God teaches us to obey our parents, and so I do. God also teaches us to love others and to love our neighbors.

Whilst these are all very good teachings, the challenge is that as kids, we take it very literally. When we give and share, we are appreciated and praised. When we help others, we are honored and rewarded. On the other hand, when we do not share, we are reprimanded. When we do not help others first, we are mocked and accused of being selfish. It's simple and it's black and white. And these beliefs have become so ingrained in us, that it has become a natural instinct for us to favor other's needs over ours.

As we grow up, we become smarter, and we start to looking forward and planning ahead. We start to think of long term consequences and when we analyze these, we realize that an immediate effect or consequence may not be a good way to determine if our actions are right or wrong. Our black and white view becomes grey and everything becomes more complicated. Sometimes, we even have to choose between the better of the two or even the lesser of two evils.

It still looks pretty straightforward, but this analyzing and thinking forward is not an easy process. So when we are faced with our day to day pressures: work, kids, family, we forget our rationale self, and this is when fear takes advantage of us and takes over: fear of not being appreciated, fear not being considered selfish, fear of losing other people's love, fear of being considered weak, fear!

We are all human and we need to accept that it is perfectly okay to have needs of our own. It is not a sign of failure, and no one has the right to judge us on that. In fact, by taking care of our needs, we can offer so much more help to others. Retrain yourself and deliberately allocate the time and effort for yourself, as you do for others; so that when that "emergency" comes, you are ready.

Put your oxygen mask on first!